Posted in Advent, Church of Misfits | Leave a Comment »
For my heavy metal Christmas,
my true love gave to me:
12 Silver Crosses
11 Black Mascaras
10 Pairs of Platforms
9 Tattered T-shirts
8 Pentagrams
7 Leather Jackets
6 Cans of Hairspray
5 Skull Earrings
4 Quarts of Jack
3 Studded Belts
2 Pairs of Spandex Pants
And A Tattoo of Ozzy!
Posted in Advent, Church of Misfits | 2 Comments »
What breaks the bear does not always shatter the shark.
Be patient. Have faith. Pray.
The Author is The Finisher.
.
[Originally published as a comment here.]
Posted in Book of Pstorms | Leave a Comment »
A turkey club
sandwich
is a feast.
My soul sings
to the Lord
when I taste
the tangy dressing
through the toast
an the tomato.
The crisp bacon
crunches through
the soft cheese,
but my stomach,
so empty for
so long, struggles.
Nothing goes down
as easily as
it used to–
when I could
eat to my
heart’s content.
I labor long like
an escaped slave:
hard and hungry,
strong and starving,
sleeping everywhere
and anywhere.
But I work so long, so hard
to honor my Father-
for He rewards honest work
and shall surely punish
those who ride my bent back
for bank accounts.
No insult
to His Image
ever goes unnoticed-
and greedy men
shall answer
for their sins.
Their wealth, surely,
shall fade in flames,
and cash to ashes,
but I will yet walk
on streets of gold before
The Most High God.
A turkey club sandwich
makes for a great,
and glorious, feast.
[Posted on Black Friday of 2009.]
Posted in Book of Pstorms | Leave a Comment »
So spake the wise man in his mind,
where he sat apart in counsel.
Good is he who keeps his faith,
And a warrior must never speak
his grief of his breast too quickly,
unless he already knows the remedy-
a hero must act with courage.
It is better for the one that seeks mercy,
consolation from the Father in the heavens,
where, for us, all permanence rests.
~excerpt from The Wanderer
Posted in Chrysalis, Lit by Lightning, Poetry | 2 Comments »
Random thoughts falling out of my head…
-I slept from 2:30 to 10:30. And it felt good. To give you an idea of how maddening my current schedule really is: that’s 2:30am to 10:30pm. I actually don’t get more than three or four hours of sleep a night during the week. So when Sunday comes, I am more than happy to take God’s advice and get some rest.
-I made several decisions this year that I knew would have a significant impact on my life for the next few years. First, I chose not to file for bankruptcy when my business folded last year because I believe my financial debt is my responsibility. So I am writing less and working more…for a lot less. But, slow and steady wins the race.
-In the course of my perpetual transition, I did meet with a counselor from vocational rehabilitation. She suggested I apply for SSI, SSDI, Section-5 housing, and food stamps. That was the first, and last, meeting we had.
-No news as of yet on the writing job. I am moving forward, though. And I did manage to get another commitment for a letter of reference for another job I really want. And that has me psyched out my mind.
-I have spent some time tonight reading blogs written by Christians, but I couldn’t really find much of anything that was encouraging. I have a great hunger for encouragement. But, in some ways at least, it honestly seems like more and more Christians are leaving Jesus out of their blogs; it’s just a social thing now, I guess.
-I know that at least some of my readers were looking forward to The PERFECT STORM, which was actually going to commemorate the first anniversary of Storm Stories. But, unfortunately, I decided to keep these words to myself–for now. I have more time to think than I do time to write. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I could write something far, far more significant than a single post on a blog, which few people are even reading.
-Speaking of Storm Stories, I never did have time to write that final Essay last year. (Those of you who followed the series may remember that I changed the title shortly after the series ended; I wanted to save the original title for another work.) I have no regrets about not having time to write that final Essay, though; I think Sunrise worked very well all by itself, so much so that I made the photo my new avatar as, I hope, a reminder.
-If there is one thing I do not particularly like about my life right now, it is that I do not have the time to write as thoroughly and as thoughtfully as I once did. In fact, in some ways at least, I feel as though I am disappointing God by not sharing the gift He has given me. But, in the course of my chaotic week, there comes a time when my brain simply shuts down. And the Muse, my Genius, leaves me. I think it is an act of grace for my own good. And my own survival. Because by the time it happens, I am so exhausted I can barely do what I need to do when I am doing it: Like stay awake while driving. Truly, my Genius knows me better than my stubborn self possibly could. And so I have faith that my Genius will return at a more opportune time. If only because, Well, why would God give me such an extraordinairy idea if there was no way for me to bring the seed of inspiration to artistic fruition?
-I was disappointed, though certainly not surprised, when The Tide of History got so few views and no comments-not even a comment from the opposition, at that. I’m sure most people have made up their minds about the matter already. And some are just “sick” of hearing about it. But, I wrote that post six years ago. My convictions about the matter have not changed through five suicides and several other storms. And, Yes, I have been called everything from “socialist” to “Satan’s Little Helper”–and most recently have been told I have a “depraved mind”–but my conviction for justice still stands.
-Of course, I have said all of this before. The Storm has risen. But some things, it seems, are worth repeating:
A complex matter like abortion cannot be reduced to the simplicity of a single law.
If we really want to put an end to abortion–and I definitely do–we need to address the reasons that lead women to make that decision in the first place instead of reducing the matter to simple definitions for our own convenience.
We need to start thinking beyond the first nine months.
We must consider the next nine decades.
Yes, I do believe that life is sacred. So much so that my concern for it starts at conception and ends with a funeral.
I have never met a Christian who did not believe in life after death.
I just wish more of us believed in life after birth.
So we can give our children a life worth living.
-Not sure that’s going to be received well out of context of the original Essay. So for the full perspective, click here.
-Maybe it’s a good things my stats are so low; I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who would willingly lynch me in some way, shape, or form if they did read this.
-And there are times I wonder: Why bother caring about millions? What’s the difference? People don’t care. The church doesn’t care. They’d rather debate problems instead of solve them, argue about issues instead of addressing matters practically and directly, and let God get lost in the details of meaningless political divisions.
-But then, I hear a voice.
-And remember.
-I will never give up.
Posted in Snowflakes | Leave a Comment »
…but I’m writinb it anyway.
complete iwth typos and panicky fingers.
okay. So. For those who came in late:
When the economcy tooka nosedive last year, my business went with it. That being said, my life has been in perpetual transistion.
For. The. Entire Year.
I have n9ot been ahapy camper. In fact, I haven’t even gone camping.
All right. Well. So. I got a chance to actually seriously literally get a decent, fairly-well-paying-better-than-nothing-and-with-beniftis job in my chosen field. And though you’d never know it fro mmy panicky, rushed, ,excited, been-up-all-ngiht fingers, that field is writing.
(Or I just have lazy-bloggers envy. You dcide!)
Now I’ve gotta to get off ohere and make a few calls, send a few text messages, and overdoes on caffeine…
Just wanted to sahre the good ndws. And hope you’ll petition Our Friend Upstairs for a positive outcome.
And time to type wihtout typoz!!!
(Now that I think about it, this kind of does belong in SunBeams.)
Posted in SunBeams | 4 Comments »
One of my friends, whom I know to be a believer, has a problem with anger.
So I asked him, “Why are you so angry?”
He gave me a list of the health problems his family is facing, the financial difficulties he is enduring, and the trouble he has sleeping because of these matters.
But then he went on to tell me that this life doesn’t matter very much because a better one is waiting for him.
At first I got confused, wondering why he gets so stressed out about the things of this life when a better one awaits.
But then I got really confused. Because I remember I used to get stressed out over the very same things. Death. Cancer. Debt. &c.
The loved ones I have lost have not returned to me. And I’ve got a mountain of a valley of debt to pay. But, I do not worry about these matters anymore.
Why? The peace of God.
He has promised me that I am going to live forever.
Why should I worry?
Heaven awaits.
Posted in Essays | 3 Comments »
When I first arrived at my new season, I must admit I wondered what would happen when the next storm hit.
Would my monstrous grief return? Would I fall back into the pit of despair? Would get dreadfully depressed again? Would suicidal thoughts snare my mind and trap my heart all over again?
My answer came one night when I met a girl from my church whose cousin had been murdered-though the newspaper mistakenly called it a suicide.
She had that look in her eyes. Like the weight of the world, as she knew it, had falled upon her shoulders.
Dazed. Distant. Detached.
Stuck. In grief.
As she shared details of his death, I listened.
And I still have the image in my head of a teenager dead from a gunshot wound to his head. Brains splattered on the windows. Shards of his skull stuck in the roof.
Eventually, I asked a few questions.
Then, most importantly, I gave her a hug.
Not advice.
And when we said our goodbyes, I still was left with an extraordinairy calm.
A sense of peace.
I have been through that fire before.
And the flames have purged the dross.
And so I am left with a faith in The Most High God.
The One Who Sends the Storms. To bring us to Him.
Our Sunrise.
A season of peace that passes all understanding.
Not because we are blameless or righteous.
But because when we live, we live in Him.
As I have said:
And that is still a beautiful sunrise.
Posted in Essays | 3 Comments »
Humility clears the heart
and
makes blue the mind sky.
Posted in Book of Pstorms | 2 Comments »
I have no self-esteem: I am esteemed.
By the Most High God Himself.
And there is none higher than The Most High.
.
Posted in Book of Pstorms | 2 Comments »
Not so long ago, I read an article about a hideously legalistic church. You know story, I’m sure. No sense regurgitating nonsense. It is, after all, just the same old song and dance.
But, there was a time when the music and movements would have bothered me a great deal. To the point of argument. And arrogance.
That was before my new season emerged.
Now, I even see darkness in a new light.
You see, several years ago, I knew a woman who had attended the same kind of hideously legalistic church. Women had to wear dresses all the time. And if, perchance, a woman were to cut her hair, it was said that she would lose the protection of an angel.
That is twisted truth, of course. Legalism always is.
Nevertheless, the woman I knew had once believed it.
Until God sent a snowstorm.
He had left about two feet of snow on the ground. And the next day, after the roads had been cleared, it was still coming down in a vicious wind that cut her skin like knives of ice.
Even so, she wore a dress that day to work.
In the parking lot, staring at the snow and feeling the wind shaking her car, she really wanted to do the right thing–as she had understood the right thing to be–but the weather just would not cooperate with what she had been taught.
Which, of course, meant God was not cooperating with what she had been taught.
But, not wanting to make trouble, she called her pastor. He wasn’t around. But his wife had answered the phone.
“Hi. Um…it’s really cold outside and I was just wondering if it would be okay if I could wear my blue jeans from the car to the building. The parking lot is huge so it’s a long walk. I can change when I get inside, but it’s really cold out here.”
“Does the Bible say women can wear blue jeans?”
“Um…no.”
“There’s your answer.”
And the pastor’s wife hung up on her.
So the woman wore her dress from the car to the building.
It was a long walk. And it was really cold.
So cold that by the time she got inside the buidling, she had decided she was never going to that hideously legalistic church ever again.
One snowstorm had changed her life forever.
In this new season, I remember that story as an example of God’s power and pruning and purging.
Legalism could not survive just one snowstorm.
But faith, that beautiful, beautiful faith she found on that long walk through the cold and the wind and the ice and the snow could survive any storm.
And she had learned the difference between Christians and Christ, too.
As it is written: “A student is not greater than his teacher.”
A most extraordinairy lesson.
Because God always knows what He is doing.
So I don’t argue.
I teach.
Posted in Essays | 2 Comments »
…and, um, I kind of need a place to live.
Posted in Behind the Clouds | 6 Comments »
