Most of you know our Storm Storyteller for today. Though she has endured a monsoon (or thirty-two), Tam lived to tell about it. And today she is crazy enough happy to share some of her trials with us. If you haven’t met her husband, Brent, yet, stop over and say hello. Just click here.
UMBRELLA
by Tam
when Nor asked me to be a part of Storm Stories i was glad to be involved. not sure what i’d write about though for several, several days. for some of you who know my story, you might be wondering why i’d be having a problem writing a story about any personal storms. Nor had listed off several options to write about…drugs, suicide, depression, abortion, abuse and so on. i quickly realized, i could write on all of those!
there was a time in my life where it was a constant storm. but that time is so far in the past i can barely connect to it today in an attempt to write of how i drowned in the down pours of life, choices and consequences.
for about 5 years straight i lived in a perpetual storm. from the end of 1986 to the summer of 1990 i lived a gutter existence. i did drugs, i had 2 abortions, i married at the age of 19 a man who was 15 years my senior who ultimately abused me then took his life. i narrowly escaped. then circumstances took me to So. CA where my life would change dramatically.
it wasn’t until the summer of 1990, back in CA and finding my way to God, did i realize how dysfunctional and destructive my life actually was. but it was my normal. i had adjusted and conformed so well to it. however, when i met God and my eyes were open, truly opened, i saw everything very differently – very clearly. for the first time i felt an escape, a reprieve. it was in His safety, His promises, His word, that i had found that. and it was instant!
i seem to be one of those rare cases that can totally walk away from the pit and never look back. but why would i? friends, after experiencing God on that day i called out to Him…after finding refuge in Him, i found no reason at all to dwell. what a waste that would be. that’s how my mind and heart process things. i’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but it’s me.
have i been hit with a storm or 32 since that day? you betcha! but God is my umbrella. no storm can harm me. i may get wet and blown around. things may even crash into me. and i become stronger because of it…all for His glory. i just don’t see it any other way.
so i guess what i see more now is…Sunshine! when i’m in the storm, i set my eyes on the rainbow that is to come. and i push on and run like a crazy woman to get to it!
there will always be storms. that’s called life. the rain falls on the just and unjust. but His Reign trumps it all. and that is where my eyes are set.
but His Reign trumps it all
He is Lord of us all..As always Tam raw and honest. You are a wonderful example to us all.
Peace and love sister.
I can certainly see why you were so overwhelmed as to what to write about, Tam. This fallen world certainly is overwhelming…
…it’s good to have our Umbrella though, isn’t it?
I am so thankful to be under that umbrella, and rain it does! Tam, your testimony is one of beauty to me, I just know how HE lifts one up and moves us on with HIM. Yours is a story that gives me goosebumps, and causes me to say out loud..Thank You Jesus! love you sister
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my computer is being nice while your blog is snowing – but i’ll be quick here to say…thank you you three!
i wouldnt want to do this life without my brothers and sisters. we need each other to weather the storms too!
so thank you!
Oh Noreaster!!! what an awesome idea you had…I am so glad that you followed through with it, and glad that so many jumped in..God is good! love ya!
Just when I think I can’t love you more, you go and write this.
In my own life, I find strength in that fact that once I know better, I can’t pretend to be ignorant anymore… you are a beautiful example of learning a better way and living it with grace. I’m so glad I know you.
Wow tam, that is amazing thank you for sharing!
G
I too have experienced some of the things you have discussed about your past.
“i seem to be one of those rare cases that can totally walk away from the pit and never look back. but why would i?”
Why would you indeed….Why would I? That is moving backwards and letting the enemy get a foot hold in our lives.
I also love your comment “i’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but it’s me.” Oh how I understand that statement.
Thanks for this storm story. I love your outlook.
“Run like a crazy woman.” That picture … I could see you, Tam. Head bent, running into the wind. You are stronger than the storm. By His grace, I know. But still … you are.
i have, what i like to call, “holy bumps” after reading all these comments.
i can not imagine having this outlook without God. nope. i dont even wanta go there.
thank you all for being inspiring and encouraging!
So when I read these I never really know what to say but I always want to comment because I’m so moved by them… I guess that can be what I say
your perspective never ceases to amaze me. God’s grace is so evident in you.
When you’re going through hell… Keep Going! (Sir Winston Churchill)
Some people though – in the absence of any real purpose or ‘Guide’ manage to keep walking around in the same storm or walking from one right into another, without the break of a single ‘sunny’ day.
You are the sunshine – or at least a large refelection of it in my life Tam!
<B
The miraculous, immediate healing you experienced is amazing, Tam.
Praise God, He brought it all to a place of deliverance for you.
“it was my normal.”
What a thought! For so many people, that is why change is so difficult at any level. “Normal” becomes our comfort zone. Too often, “normal” is what is used to justify our existence–no matter how dysfunctional.
However, as Watchman Nee so ably pointed in his book, “The Normal Christian Life,” ‘normal’ is sometimes (usually) a faulty criteria.
In a leper colony, it is ‘normal’ to have leprosy. If found there, I do not want to be normal.
ashley – that sounds good to me!
alece – to be honest – some days its a battle in my mind not to dwell or get pissy over injustices or results of my own consequences. but i have to forge through it. it did me no good then – it wont do any good now. and…. your words, mean the world to me, friend!
love – thank you, sweetie. and likewise.
michelle – praise Him indeed!! i have a personal friend who seems to be in a perpetual storm. and i ask myself often…is God not offering the same deliverance to her??? why the difference? is part of it the way we choose to look at it? im not totally sure. not at all, in fact. i love you sis!
dale – exactly! you said it perfectly. and i fit into that description for many, many years. AND – BTW – i havent forgotten about my father in laws book im sending you. im gathering up several and sending them at once to a few different people
Nor – thank you for including me in this. it is an honor to share at your blog. this assignment was a bit of a challenge…and God knew i needed it!
You’re welcome, Tam.
Tam, I think He works with us individually. I really don’t think the storms are a sign of anything other than purging…spurring us on down this road of sanctification. How will we respond? Will we let Him show us what we need to learn? Will we let our “forebearing spirit” be known to all men?
That’s what I see in your story. He’s brought you through beautifully and now you’re speaking from a place of having “weathered” it. Some of us are still in the middle. You may have a tsunami hit someday that knocks you off your feet for a time. Who knows?
I think it’s all about whatever He decides we need to endure for His glory.
Love you, TammyJo!!! MUCH.
you are right sis! i love your insight, always!
i love you so much too, sis!
so good…
what else can I say…
so good.